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september · 11-25-2008, 01:05 AM

Hi.
I'm a skeptical person, yet I am continually drawn back to unexplainable phenomena. Forgive any incongruencies between your reactions to certain events and my own.

I have always had a tough time concentrating on my own work. I always seem to have a finger in everyone else's cake/ice cream/tasty dessert, and none left for my own. It's distracting to feel like you're not a self, but a conglomerate of other people's ideas -- and dare I say, thoughts.

It's especially tough to focus on my own thoughts and clarify what *I* think about something. And without implying that this must be the case, and that I am a special snowflake, I wanted to float the idea that this static is external and not internal. Specifically, it seems as though maybe this needing to know about everything going on around me constantly is a symptom, not a cause, of my distraction. If I'm experiencing surface static... this is tough to imply, but from other people, it would explain why I try to block something out with music and TV -- and I hate TV -- even when I am in a silent room, if there are other people around.

I'm posting because something seems right about what I'm saying to me. But, of course, there's the possibility that I am doing the "I am a special snowflake with *unique powers!*" thing. And that's not my intent. I'm just a college student trying to self-diagnose my inability to focus myself, and trying to figure out why it's easy to figure out what other people think about something, but so difficult to articulate myself -- that is, why my thoughts are disorganized. It's not ADD. And perhaps it's just lack of discipline. I call that into doubt, however, when I can finish people's sentences in my head and understand the dimensions of an idea or concept they're discussing before they've finished. I've been revered by my profs as an incredibly quick learner. But it can feel like literally soaking myself in the concept.

Reading this, I see I've beaten around the bush and missed the point. Point being: am I picking up on thoughts here? Two heuristic devices I've been floating to explain it:

(1) This is just a fantastic mental organization system I find myself with, while suffering from lack of discipline and focus to bear out or synthesize ideas I come across. I'm great at storing conceptual memories and recalling similarities between ideas, and inferring to the best explanation how a suggestion or partial idea will bear out.

(2) I am constantly picking up things, all the time, causing a base level of static, and when I focus in on a conversation or lecture, I automatically 'tune in', causing what seems like an almost complete understanding and recall of ideas posed to me in casual conversation or in a formal lecture. However, when not 'tuned in' to something, I'm consistently distracted by the static.

Both heuristics seem to explain what's going on here, and of course, it makes sense to me, but -- there's much more going on that is subjective to my experience, that I have difficulty explaining. Any discriminating ideas on how/what to do to sleuth out what's going on? All (constructive) ideas and questions welcome.

11-25-2008, 01:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
september Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: IL Posts: 83	Distractions, mental static? Hi. I'm a skeptical person, yet I am continually drawn back to unexplainable phenomena. Forgive any incongruencies between your reactions to certain events and my own. I have always had a tough time concentrating on my own work. I always seem to have a finger in everyone else's cake/ice cream/tasty dessert, and none left for my own. It's distracting to feel like you're not a self, but a conglomerate of other people's ideas -- and dare I say, thoughts. It's especially tough to focus on my own thoughts and clarify what I think about something. And without implying that this must be the case, and that I am a special snowflake, I wanted to float the idea that this static is external and not internal. Specifically, it seems as though maybe this needing to know about everything going on around me constantly is a symptom, not a cause, of my distraction. If I'm experiencing surface static... this is tough to imply, but from other people, it would explain why I try to block something out with music and TV -- and I hate TV -- even when I am in a silent room, if there are other people around. I'm posting because something seems right about what I'm saying to me. But, of course, there's the possibility that I am doing the "I am a special snowflake with unique powers!" thing. And that's not my intent. I'm just a college student trying to self-diagnose my inability to focus myself, and trying to figure out why it's easy to figure out what other people think about something, but so difficult to articulate myself -- that is, why my thoughts are disorganized. It's not ADD. And perhaps it's just lack of discipline. I call that into doubt, however, when I can finish people's sentences in my head and understand the dimensions of an idea or concept they're discussing before they've finished. I've been revered by my profs as an incredibly quick learner. But it can feel like literally soaking myself in the concept. Reading this, I see I've beaten around the bush and missed the point. Point being: am I picking up on thoughts here? Two heuristic devices I've been floating to explain it: (1) This is just a fantastic mental organization system I find myself with, while suffering from lack of discipline and focus to bear out or synthesize ideas I come across. I'm great at storing conceptual memories and recalling similarities between ideas, and inferring to the best explanation how a suggestion or partial idea will bear out. (2) I am constantly picking up things, all the time, causing a base level of static, and when I focus in on a conversation or lecture, I automatically 'tune in', causing what seems like an almost complete understanding and recall of ideas posed to me in casual conversation or in a formal lecture. However, when not 'tuned in' to something, I'm consistently distracted by the static. Both heuristics seem to explain what's going on here, and of course, it makes sense to me, but -- there's much more going on that is subjective to my experience, that I have difficulty explaining. Any discriminating ideas on how/what to do to sleuth out what's going on? All (constructive) ideas and questions welcome.