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esmas · 11-24-2008, 06:34 PM

I have been procrastinating for I have a fear of not getting accepted into the academy. I dont know why? I think I'm going through one of my progressive depressive phases which I constantly am battling mainly due to a lack of meaning in my life. Days are just passing by.

The stakes are like minimum buy in is 80 - 200 usd which is 125 - 350 AUD which is like 1 day of work for me but when i spend 1000 AUD in one night it aint so good. I just won back what I lost so im feeling better. Now Im going to keep it under control and definetely not play when I'm drunk or in debt; silly me.

I am getting through these little problems slowly and hopefully come out on top.

EDIT: Due to the lack of meaning in my life I'm aiming at doing activities that stimulate energy and emotion and to try and live in the moment. Rather than dwelling on the fact that I'm me and not something or someone else. But shall do everything in my power to get me to where I want to be.

A big problem I have is that I have all these ambitions but am stuck in a position of futility. I want so much to be greater yet struggle to live happily in the present which actually makes it far harder to achieve success. Due to my clouded sadness...

Ideas?

11-24-2008, 06:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
esmas Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 24	I have been procrastinating for I have a fear of not getting accepted into the academy. I dont know why? I think I'm going through one of my progressive depressive phases which I constantly am battling mainly due to a lack of meaning in my life. Days are just passing by. The stakes are like minimum buy in is 80 - 200 usd which is 125 - 350 AUD which is like 1 day of work for me but when i spend 1000 AUD in one night it aint so good. I just won back what I lost so im feeling better. Now Im going to keep it under control and definetely not play when I'm drunk or in debt; silly me. I am getting through these little problems slowly and hopefully come out on top. EDIT: Due to the lack of meaning in my life I'm aiming at doing activities that stimulate energy and emotion and to try and live in the moment. Rather than dwelling on the fact that I'm me and not something or someone else. But shall do everything in my power to get me to where I want to be. A big problem I have is that I have all these ambitions but am stuck in a position of futility. I want so much to be greater yet struggle to live happily in the present which actually makes it far harder to achieve success. Due to my clouded sadness... Ideas? Last edited by esmas; 11-24-2008 at 06:51 PM.