[David21]

Well,to me,confidence is something i can easily have regarding something that i get good results with. but if i don't get good results,then i know there is no reason for confidence. For example,i have confidence to sing karaoke (even when sober!) cuz i love music and i love to sing and most of the time i do a good job,i've only really sucked at it twice,but 2 times out of 30 or 40 is very good! So therefore i do have confidence in that. As well as my job,i always do a wonderful job and i know i'm a better worker and better at my job than most of the other people who do it,so i have boatloads of confidence there.

Well, I can certainly see your point. I think a person estimates their own self-worth by how others treat them, speak with them and value them and if this is not something you have had much of then your confidence will be at rock bottom. I know mine is!

But i dont have confidence when it comes to dating because i have never once gotten to date a guy that i liked,it was always the guy coming after me and i felt forced to date them. I never got the guys i wanted,i had to settle for the guys that liked me. And i lack confidence in my communication skills because it is a FACT that i suck at talking and 99% of the time i embarrass myself and i hate the way i talk yet its so hard to change (impossible,so far).

I kinda know how you feel in this respect because I too lack the ability to verbally communicate with skill, or at least, not at first anyway. I always stammer and mix my words up in my sentences - its really annoying because people interpret it wrongly. Once a person gets to know me I find that I start to open up and talk well. Admittedly, I do still have this stammer occasionally but it is nothing like what it is when I first talk to someone.

Yep,me too! And i cant help but feel like for other people this works but for me it doesn't. I know i'm just too picky with guys though,i always want the ones that i want and not the ones that end up wanting me (the ones lower on the ladder...if you are familiar with the Ladder Theory,from my other posts)

Is it that you are too picky or that you know who is right for you? I've wondered whether I am too picky but then I realize that I just know what is right for me and what is not. Perhaps you're the same?

I've had many opportunities too,in fact just today i got 2 messages on Myspace from 2 guys saying i was a "babe". Now i could date them but my first reaction is "ugh,a babe!? why dont guys ever think with their BRAINS for once,its the first message and theyre already commenting on my looks!" I mean,i'm attracted to hot guys too but i would NEVER call them "gorgeous" or "babe" or "sexy" right off the bat!

Yeah, I wouldn't do that personally, but don't take that kind of thing too seriously because you're liable to get hurt. Try and meet people who don't refer to you as 'babe' upon first seeing you - it's more likely an indication of how much respect they will have for you.