[LordSappington]

I have tried this with minimal success. In order to break the cycle of anxiety, you have to have positive experiences, or at least non-negative experiences. So approaching should be fun, like a game, where you don't really care about getting positive responses, numbers, or anything. The best way to do this is with a friend, where even if the girl is a complete bitch, you can go laugh about it with him. That way even a negative response is a positive experience.

Firstly, don't go to pick up women at first. Your goal is to improve your socialization skills. You absolutely cannot judge your success by how many numbers you get at first. Walk up to people, introduce yourself, chat for a bit, try to build some rapport, make them laugh. When you feel like the conversation is dying, smile, and say, "Well, it was nice talking to you. Maybe I'll see you around." Then walk away without a number. Once you get comfortable doing this, you can transition to getting numbers.

Secondly, don't start out solo. My problem is that I couldn't find a wingman to do this, so I tried to go solo, and I ended up crashing and burning and not being able to laugh at it when I was by myself. Some people can handle that type of thing and just shrug it off, but I couldn't. So, my advice: don't start out going solo. Once you get confident enough doing it with a friend, then go solo. The key is to understand that rejection is less about you and more about her... do you really think she can be an accurate judge of you based on a stupid, 10 minute conversation? I understand this in my logical mind, but it just won't sink into my subconscious.

Thirdly, arrive on time or early for an event. I've found this to be incredibly helpful in my approaches for several reasons. Firstly, there won't be as many people, which makes it much easier to talk to others since there are only a few people they can talk to as well. Secondly, the groups will be much smaller and easier to approach. Thirdly, it will be less crowded so you can move around easier. Fourthly, it won't be as noisy so you can actually hear what other people are saying. And finally, people will be relatively sober, and you will be as well, so you won't have to rely on liquid courage to socialize.

A good opener I discovered accidentally, which helps transition from going with a wingman to going solo. I was meeting up with a friend at this art show once, but she got stuck at work and ended up arriving about an hour late. So I was standing around alone without knowing anyone. So I went up to people and said, "I'm waiting for a friend who won't be here for an hour, and rather than sitting around for and waiting for her, I'd figure I'd talk to people." It worked pretty well, and it gave me an exit strategy when she arrived because I could say, "Well, she's here. Nice talking to you."