So I now have some comfortable distance from the "feeling not-good-ness" I originally had with this issue, and am in a much better feeling place, which is great.
I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this thread and used their energy to offer me some support. At the time it was helpful and, now that some time has passed, I can thankfully say that I understand this issue much more, and can work towards what feels right for me from a point of alignment. I've already made some good progress, and feel like I'm at a realy good place energetically. This bodes well.
Rose--thanks for being willing to help, even if I confuse the heck out of you (and everyone, heh).
Yang--I very directly took your advice after writing through my thinking in reply to your posts, and it worked very well. Now I mostly play it by ear, but I find it very useful to have internalised this understanding of how to deal with this issue should it come up.
Anna, for someone who doesn't think she's very good at writing, your post was impressively good, and very helpful to boot. Reading over it now (and I read over all of the posts you guys made in this thread) I can see that really everything I needed was covered in your post, and I can say I basically resonate with the state of being that is conveyed with the words of your post. (As an aside, one important thing to remember about writing is that it's not always the words you write, but the energy you convey. Words, just like writing, are a medium. The message you have to convey is what's important, and you conveyed that message masterfully, which is why your post was impactful. I actually write almost everything I write now using intuition and feeling; very little of what I write is guided by my intellect. My intellect sucks at writing.
I find my intuition has evolved to include my understanding of good writing practice, which was previously managed by my intellect, and now my writing is a more complete, holistic, inclusive process, instead of an effort and a struggle.)
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One interesting side effect which was influenced by your collective feedback and support is that I've found the real solution to this issue isn't a matter of de-investing in old relationships and focusing on the negative (although that is a part of it), but more a matter of focusing where you invest your efforts in the first place.
I guess I began to realise that you choose where to invest your time in the moment--you're never really "locked in"--and when you have a greater awareness of what you want, especially when you understand truth, love, and power (which is something I didn't undertstand very well--at least, not to the point of harmonious synthesis--but do now), you can invest your energy more intelligently (intelligently in both the dictionary definition, and PDSP, "truth, love, power" sense of the word).
More importantly, I think what I'm left with from this fairly expansive experience that has occured over time is a greater self-awareness, and more connection (love) with what is true for me (truth), which manifests in the most beautiful way in every day happenings (intelligence).
Interestingly, this awareness kind of flowed over to more than just interaction with people, and impacts what I connect with in general, although I must credit much of my increased forward momentum in this area to a reading I, in retrospect, rather synchronistically had with Anna--more specifically, the healing component of the
reading which helped me get a better sense for my power in general, and also as it relates to the lightworkers way of living (which, months ago, was quite a challenge for me but now feels much easier--even natural), as opposed to dealing with power in isolation. Fans of PDSP (the book) could say it's power aligned with truth and love (and if you really want to go into the specifics, it's the desire component of power that you connect with love by using truth--to gaze upon what is true for you). I can honestly say that since Anna did her healing work and I've been doing my follow up healing intention homework, I kind of feel much more lovingly supported. Not all the time, but when I'm in the flow, it's as if the floodgates are open and everything is working more harmoniously, which is quite a thing to feel--to experience--and behold. But then, perhaps the floodgates are always open now, it's just a matter of noticing it.
So yeah, thanks, guys. Success!