Hey Somebody, to answer your first four questions:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodySomewhere  Is this all in my head? Am I overthinking this? or am I experiencing something here and is it in my power to control and change? |
Yes, yes, yes and yes.
It sounds to me like you resolved your own “issue” when you said,
Quote:
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I feel better when I'm in a new place when I don't know anyone, because I don't have any expectations of loyalty or behavior from any of the people around me.
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Apparently it’s your expectations that create the painful feelings within you and not necessarily other people. When your experience of people’s behavior does not match your expectations, feelings of isolation must naturally ensue. Fighting reality by continuously believing that people should be something other than what they are can be exhausting. I can relate. That’s definitely how it’s been for me!
Your beliefs about other people wanting to hurt you aren’t necessarily true though. For instance, are you absolutely positive that people will eventually do something to harm you? You didn’t qualify your statement. Are you talking about all people or just some people? Are you willing to entertain the possibility that this belief about people isn’t entirely accurate? Couldn’t it be just as true that people will eventually do something to
help you? Not only is it possible that this last statement could be as true if not more true, it might also lead you to feelings of ease, joy and inclusion if you believed it.
One last question. Do you feel a lot of anger, maybe at the world and/or yourself?
And in all seriousness, I'm really glad you felt you could come here to talk about this. I'm glad you trusted us enough to share your thoughts and feelings. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
