Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - My marriage broke down and I don't know where to turn, I need some help

kthdsn · 12-29-2006, 07:15 PM

I have been trying to make myself post here for a few weeks now but I guess I wasn't ready to admit to myself that this was real.

My marriage broke down. It happened slowly and gradually and neither of us noticed that things were going wrong until a few weeks ago. My husband told me he doesn't love me any more. I still love him, and he agreed to give it our best shot. A few days later things really seemed to be going better, but later the same day he told me he couldn't keep trying any more, he didn't love me, it wouldn't work.

He has agreed to help me start a new life in Toronto where my family live (we live in the UK) and we are both desperate for me to leave so we can both begin to pick up the pieces. We are both trying so hard to remain friends. We are currently trying to manage as normal for the children's sake until I can leave. We feel that it will be easier on them if they enjoy their father until the day we go. It's getting harder to maintain "normal" with each day that goes by.

I have everything I need in order to leave, other than money. I owe £10k on plastic here, and have no savings to take with me. James is prepared to borrow money for me to pay my debts and go with, but his credit rating is too poor to borrow. He has a friend who said he would lend him £20k but this hasn't materialised.

I feel like the only thing stopping me from leaving and starting afresh is the lack of money. I really believe that if I can get to Toronto, I will be able to get over everything and build a decent life for me and my children. I'm so sure that I can do it, if only I can get there.

I wish a fairy godmother would appear and lend me the money so I can go and start, but I don't think that is going to happen. To make matters worse, when I decided I was leaving, I quit my job. Now I can't even afford to manage here.

Every day it gets harder to see a way forwards, harder to hold it together. I feel so low right now I can imagine shooting myself in the head just to make it go away. I need an end to this hell, I need a way forwards. I can't see one. I feel stuck.

Please help me find something to hold on to, to help me move towards Toronto, to help me feel I can do it. I am ready to start on my new path, help me figure out how. Thank you for listening.

12-29-2006, 07:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
kthdsn Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto Posts: 143	My marriage broke down and I don't know where to turn, I need some help I have been trying to make myself post here for a few weeks now but I guess I wasn't ready to admit to myself that this was real. My marriage broke down. It happened slowly and gradually and neither of us noticed that things were going wrong until a few weeks ago. My husband told me he doesn't love me any more. I still love him, and he agreed to give it our best shot. A few days later things really seemed to be going better, but later the same day he told me he couldn't keep trying any more, he didn't love me, it wouldn't work. He has agreed to help me start a new life in Toronto where my family live (we live in the UK) and we are both desperate for me to leave so we can both begin to pick up the pieces. We are both trying so hard to remain friends. We are currently trying to manage as normal for the children's sake until I can leave. We feel that it will be easier on them if they enjoy their father until the day we go. It's getting harder to maintain "normal" with each day that goes by. I have everything I need in order to leave, other than money. I owe £10k on plastic here, and have no savings to take with me. James is prepared to borrow money for me to pay my debts and go with, but his credit rating is too poor to borrow. He has a friend who said he would lend him £20k but this hasn't materialised. I feel like the only thing stopping me from leaving and starting afresh is the lack of money. I really believe that if I can get to Toronto, I will be able to get over everything and build a decent life for me and my children. I'm so sure that I can do it, if only I can get there. I wish a fairy godmother would appear and lend me the money so I can go and start, but I don't think that is going to happen. To make matters worse, when I decided I was leaving, I quit my job. Now I can't even afford to manage here. Every day it gets harder to see a way forwards, harder to hold it together. I feel so low right now I can imagine shooting myself in the head just to make it go away. I need an end to this hell, I need a way forwards. I can't see one. I feel stuck. Please help me find something to hold on to, to help me move towards Toronto, to help me feel I can do it. I am ready to start on my new path, help me figure out how. Thank you for listening.