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Originally Posted by Rockchick26  This entire post could have been written by me! Not that its a good thing there are so many of us with this problem,but its reassuring in a way because we know we're not alone. I have the same thoughts,that i KNOW what to do,but i just can't get myself to do them,so i know the blame all lands on me. I also have thoughts like "its very possible some guy will just start talking to me in public and i wont have to work for it" so i would rather let it happen naturally than force it to happen by forcing myself to do something i wouldnt normally do to make it happen. And besides,don't things come to you easier and faster if you don't force it? The way i see it,i'm just trying to enjoy my life and let love happen when its naturally supposed to,i dont want to scare it away by chasing after it!
It's also kinda like this: would you rather do backbreaking physical labor for 12 hours a day,or would you rather sit back on your computer and earn the same amount of money in 2 hours? The choice is obvious.
I bet you also feel like why do we have to do this when it "just happens" for other people. It just isn't fair that some of us have to work harder and go out of our way to get something that just falls into other people's laps. So we don't want to give in to that. |
Pokerenthusiast, Rockchick - I felt a weight lift from me when I read your posts. For so long now I've just been waiting, convincing myself that 'it will just happen' and it never has. However, I am a spiritual person so I do believe that things happen for a reason. And I do believe that I am meant to be with someone, even if that does sound too sentimental and soppy!
I am slowly changing my life so maybe changes such as those I have dreamed about all these years will in turn follow. For example, last night I went to a friends party - the first real party I have been to in years! All my previous friends were not the sort to host parties, anyway, it was amazing! Unfortunately I didn't find 'the one' and instead I had to put up with the fact that my friend got intimate and close to someone and I didn't but it felt good anyway. Perhaps this is the type of thing I need to be doing to meet the one I'm meant to be with? Trouble is, I always thought I'd meet my soulmate in a library or something.
I agree with you rockchick, you shouldn't pursue love with everything you have but at the same time you do need to create the circumstances in your life that would allow your dreams entry, if you know what I mean?
Seeing other people together, showing their affection for one another leaves a burning emptiness in my core, but I just try and hold on to the dream that that will be me one day. Day by day, I am trying to open myself up to the possibility that I may meet a partner and it certainly helps to know that I am not the only one in the world feeling this. I'm sure things will be great eventually!
