[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Erock

Wow way to shut down what I thought was a good idea.

Well, it was a pretty poor idea. You're basically telling him to make up a lie he doesn't believe in just so he can get some sex. I can all but guarantee you that the lie will make life not easier but more difficult for him.

I was just trying to find him a good excuse for why he's never had sex so that it can come off smoothly when he meets women.

He doesn't need such an excuse! You're not weird if you haven't had sex yet at 20 or 30, in fact, you're not even a minority.

Not to be mean at all, but there are some very negative societal assumptions about men who haven't had sex in their 20s, and most women (not those that are on these forums) will immediately assume those unless he has a good reason (which I gave him).

How do you know? Have you interviewed "most" women? All 3 billion of them? No, you're just making assumptions here. You're mindlessly repeating what "everybody else" is saying as if it were truth, just because "everybody else" is saying it.

Snap out of it!

I understand where he's coming from and I think this sort of thing is especially taxing for men because so much of a man's ego is tied into how well he can relate to women. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 19, and I found it extremely difficult to live with at times.

Making up excuses for yourself doesn't make it easier to relate to women (or men, for that matter), it just makes it harder. Being honest and genuine, on the other hand, works pretty darn well.

If I were to stroll over to a nice lady in a bar and tell her "hiya, honey, I would just love to have sex with you!" I would have a much bigger chance of taking her home than when I'd make the excuse of "listen dear, I'm still a virgin because I wanted to remain so until I was married, but now I'm desperate so, please, do me!" Here's the reason why: the first line shows my interest in her, while the second is basically me telling her that I need her to get my fix. If that doesn't earn me a kick in the groin, I don't know what will...

Here is the real truth for men: Unless you are very fortunate you will NEVER be given girls. Girls will never fall into your lap. Don't believe any of the hype that somehow you will meet the girl of your dreams without doing anything.

No argument there. Well, maybe just that I don't believe there is a hype that says you'll get girls without doing anything (at least not on this forum).

However, I really don't think that lying is part of a good strategy for how you get the girl of your dreams. Heck, I don't think that lying is a good strategy for anything in life.

Be honest, be you.