Quote:
Originally Posted by ProjectX  I have quite a lot of secrets inside.
One of them is that I sometimes wish my father dies soon or gets killed and leaves behind life insurance because I need that money badly. And I wouldn't care if my father died at all.
I hope some of my family relatives die so also I can collect any life insurance and money they leave behind.
Sometimes my hatred for my parents is on borderline passionate.
I want revenge on those who brought me pain in my life. I want them to experience the emotional distress I had to go through because of them or I want them to die an agonizing death.
Sometimes I wish my mom had an abortion when I was in her womb. |
Hell yea! That's the main reason I'm pro choice! The hell with "her body, her choice". I want to see as many people spared the misery of this world as possible.
I have similar thoughts however I don't want my parents to die. A big part of that is that if they do I won't have their financial support. Not all of it, but it's a big one. I don't really want revenge on them but I do get pissed that they brought me into this world. Sometimes I think about killing myself after somehow letting them know I hated them. The guilt they'd feel gives me pleasure. It's not really a sustainable feeling though as I feel bad if I think this way too long. But in the case that I killed myself, I'd be dead so who knows. Granted I wouldn't kill myself just to make somebody feel guilty but I see it as a "pot sweetener" towards making the final decision. Like saying; "you screwed me by bringing me into the world for your own selfish reasons, so I'm gonna screw you back by killing myself and make you think you played a part! Haha!"
And to think, I consider that my parents did a decent job compared to the rest of society. I really don't hate them, they are decent people. However, I often hate life and it seems logical to trace that hatred back to the people responsible for giving it to me. I know some people thing "we choose to incarnate" or whatever. That might be true but I've never been presented with any good evidence for that. I'd be open to receiving such but I'm not going to assume it on faith alone.
fun thread!
However, I'm still wondering if anybody has any ideas about the question I proposed a few posts ago.