Quote:
Originally Posted by PokerEnthusiast  David21, I feel exactly the same way. Everything you described about yourself and your feelings is the same for me (even down to the age  ).
Everyday that I go to school I see couples that are happy together and showing their affection for each other. When I see attractive girls with their boyfriends I sometimes ask myself - "Why can't I be that guy?" or "Will I ever be with a girl like that?" or "I hope I can have those experiences while I'm still in college"
Most of the time I just blame it on "bad luck".
-Bad luck because whenever I've met a girl in one of my classes that I was attracted to I find out that she has a boyfriend. We end up just being friends and then after the semester is over I barely see her anymore.
-Bad luck because I'm never at places where I can meet new girls. None of my friends are people that go out to nightclubs so I don't have a chance to ever go to a club to meet girls. Nobody I know ever has parties where a lot of new people get together so I'm not able to meet girls at a party like that.
I know it's stupid to think this way because I know that all of this can be changed through my actions and the way I choose to live my life. It's just like in poker: It's not the about the cards that you are dealt but the way that you play them. There's nothing wrong with the cards I was dealt(my life), I just don't know how to play them the right way(I'm not doing what I should be doing to improve my social life).
And you can give me advice like:
-"Try to make new friends that are interested in the same things you are"
-"Put yourself out there more and even though you don't have friends to go with you to a club or a party; you can still go by yourself and meet people" or
-"Don't be afraid to get rejected by people. It's part of the learning process and over time you will learn that rejection is not that bad"
-"Join toastmasters" 
-etc
but the problem is I already know that this is what I have to do improve my social life - I'm just too stubborn to do it and too scared to even try. I would rather believe in this illusion of bad luck that have and keep telling myself that my luck is going to change. Haha... I say things to myself like "Yeah don't worry, next semester you're gonna meet new people that are gonna be the type of friends you want and you're gonna meet a really nice girl-the one you've been waiting so long for". But this is just me waiting for things to happen for me. The truth is - it wont happen for me unless I do something about it. |
This entire post could have been written by me! Not that its a good thing there are so many of us with this problem,but its reassuring in a way because we know we're not alone. I have the same thoughts,that i KNOW what to do,but i just can't get myself to do them,so i know the blame all lands on me. I also have thoughts like "its very possible some guy will just start talking to me in public and i wont have to work for it" so i would rather let it happen naturally than force it to happen by forcing myself to do something i wouldnt normally do to make it happen. And besides,don't things come to you easier and faster if you don't force it? The way i see it,i'm just trying to enjoy my life and let love happen when its naturally supposed to,i dont want to scare it away by chasing after it!
It's also kinda like this: would you rather do backbreaking physical labor for 12 hours a day,or would you rather sit back on your computer and earn the same amount of money in 2 hours? The choice is obvious.
I bet you also feel like why do we have to do this when it "just happens" for other people. It just isn't fair that some of us have to work harder and go out of our way to get something that just falls into other people's laps. So we don't want to give in to that.