Quote:
Originally Posted by David21  It is reassuring to see that I am not the only one going through this. |
David21, I feel exactly the same way. Everything you described about yourself and your feelings is the same for me (even down to the age
).
Everyday that I go to school I see couples that are happy together and showing their affection for each other. When I see attractive girls with their boyfriends I sometimes ask myself - "Why can't I be that guy?" or "Will I ever be with a girl like that?" or "I hope I can have those experiences while I'm still in college"
Most of the time I just blame it on "bad luck".
-Bad luck because whenever I've met a girl in one of my classes that I was attracted to I find out that she has a boyfriend. We end up just being friends and then after the semester is over I barely see her anymore.
-Bad luck because I'm never at places where I can meet new girls. None of my friends are people that go out to nightclubs so I don't have a chance to ever go to a club to meet girls. Nobody I know ever has parties where a lot of new people get together so I'm not able to meet girls at a party like that.
I know it's stupid to think this way because I know that all of this can be changed through my actions and the way I choose to live my life. It's just like in poker: It's not the about the cards that you are dealt but the way that you play them. There's nothing wrong with the cards I was dealt(my life), I just don't know how to play them the right way(I'm not doing what I should be doing to improve my social life).
And you can give me advice like:
-"Try to make new friends that are interested in the same things you are"
-"Put yourself out there more and even though you don't have friends to go with you to a club or a party; you can still go by yourself and meet people" or
-"Don't be afraid to get rejected by people. It's part of the learning process and over time you will learn that rejection is not that bad"
-"Join toastmasters"
-etc
but the problem is I already know that this is what I have to do improve my social life - I'm just too stubborn to do it and too scared to even try. I would rather believe in this illusion of bad luck that have and keep telling myself that my luck is going to change. Haha... I say things to myself like "Yeah don't worry, next semester you're gonna meet new people that are gonna be the type of friends you want and you're gonna meet a really nice girl-the one you've been waiting so long for". But this is just me waiting for things to happen for me. The truth is - it wont happen for me unless I do something about it.