WayToTwilight: I don't think you are at the level of fear. You sound like you are at the level of courage mostly. You expose yourself to new situations and are one the path of personal development. This is the level of courage.
I don't think the feeling of fear is related with the level of fear; the level of fear is all consuming, as Steve says, it brings feelings of paranoia, you're not paranoid, maybe a little afraid, courage is not the lack of fear, but the ability to operate despite fear, and that is what you are doing. I think you moved up into desire when you started trying to become more sociable and drinking, etc. When you gave that up I think you moved up through anger, and maybe through pride (did you experience feelings of superiority once you started figuring things out?) and into courage.
I myself hover around neutrality, occasionally i slip down to pride, and sometimes as low as desire, occasionaly I move up to willingness and rarely, to acceptance; mostly though I'm at neutrality, I'm finding it difficult to move up, neutrality is just comfortable and easy. I'll give myself some time. I'm still young.
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