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phoenixxx · 11-19-2008, 11:39 PM

So. I've got this depression and anxiety that I seriously just want to say **** off to. I've had it for ages at all varying degrees. It has gradually been getting better from 2006 onwards and I was really starting to (or at least I thought...) make some progress. By this I mean graduating from black hole/low awareness/negative depression to anxiety-depression but while holding good positive intentions and seeing them manifest.

NOW, the ****er has just beaten me down again....well, I mean, I have beaten myself down again or whatever.

I have closed off my feelings and don't make eye contact with people and hardly communicate at all. I am so angry at this. I think it happened because my 'best friend', the only person who has ever loved me for who I am and who has helped me express myself and love myself, has turned around and told me to **** off for putting my depression on her. It's a load of crap! She has been depressed for years and I have listened to her sort her problems out over and over again and have been patient and willing to help and give advice, sometimes harsh advice. And now, when I actually start having some trouble she turns her back on me!

Now I think, reflexively I have turned back to bottling it all up because the one person who genuinely wanted to listen to me has decided not to anymore.

There is so much more to this story but I don't think anyone wants to listen anymore....I'll just see....

11-19-2008, 11:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
phoenixxx Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 50	Imploding So. I've got this depression and anxiety that I seriously just want to say ** off to. I've had it for ages at all varying degrees. It has gradually been getting better from 2006 onwards and I was really starting to (or at least I thought...) make some progress. By this I mean graduating from black hole/low awareness/negative depression to anxiety-depression but while holding good positive intentions and seeing them manifest. NOW, the er has just beaten me down again....well, I mean, I have beaten myself down again or whatever. I have closed off my feelings and don't make eye contact with people and hardly communicate at all. I am so angry at this. I think it happened because my 'best friend', the only person who has ever loved me for who I am and who has helped me express myself and love myself, has turned around and told me to ** off for putting my depression on her. It's a load of crap! She has been depressed for years and I have listened to her sort her problems out over and over again and have been patient and willing to help and give advice, sometimes harsh advice. And now, when I actually start having some trouble she turns her back on me! Now I think, reflexively I have turned back to bottling it all up because the one person who genuinely wanted to listen to me has decided not to anymore. There is so much more to this story but I don't think anyone wants to listen anymore....I'll just see....