Selfishness is not a negative trait (but I'll restrain myself from hijacking this thread and instead start another one.
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I suggest you listen to Steve's podcasts on 'Subjective reality' and 'New views on religion'. All your philosophical views are merely theories about reality - all have their distinct strengths and weaknesses. 'Objective reality' might give you a sense of purpose, where 'subjective reality' gives you the things you want. The point is not to having to make a choice, but instead honor both views equally and apply each one where they are the strongest.