[laur_454]

Hi... I'm new to the forums but I've been reading Steve's blog for a few weeks now and I love it. I've ordered the Secret DVD and I've been listening to Tony Robbins for about a year. I've been reading and re-reading the Power of Now (and Eckhart Tolle's other books) for about three years now and I truly believe that it changed my life. I was completely angry and negative all of the time prior to recieving the book (as a gift from my dad). I was unable to rise above any situation. I now try to be positive and I consider myself very spiritual, however I still have lots of anger/jealousy issues sometimes. I belieive in the Law of Attraction and I have many many thoughts that I'd like to manifest which I try to think about positively on a regular basis. Sometimes, though, I just get so down. I'm going through a down-time right now and its really hard. I don't know where this pain comes from. Deep down, I know that I want a fulfilling life for myself and for everyone that I love. I'm not a suicidal person and most people would say that I have everything going for me. Sometimes I just can't help but wonder what it would be like to just not have to feel this pain. Just a few minutes ago I was trying to figure out "my true life purpose" in the manner that Steve suggests and suicide popped into my head again and I started to cry. I don't know where that though came from. I realize this pain is what Eckhart Tolle would call unconsciousness, and I know that he's probably right. I don't really believe in anti-depressants. I suppose more exercise wouldn't hurt. I was just wondering if anyone has any insight into anything like this. Maybe its the people I surround myself with because I'm still in college and I work (and socialize) in a bar atmosphere quite frequently. I'm really scared that this will never go away. Thanks...