[SomebodySomewhere]

I'll keep this short and sweet. No matter where I go (I recently came back home for a vacation) and yet no matter how many people I know here or back where I live, and how many people I'm with, I always feel alone, even around family.

I don't know why. I feel like everyone is against me in some way and that even if someone seems friendly towards me right now, eventually they will turn against me due to some reason(envy, jealousy, spite, being an ******* for no reason) . I think I'm friendly towards people, otherwise I wouldn't have the friends that I do right now.

I feel as if I'm constantly having to defend myself, whether it be from people saying that I don't know what I'm doing or i'm doing something wrong(even though I'm far more successful that the people saying this), or from the many verbal jabs people try to take at me.

Is this all in my head? Am I overthinking this? or am I experiencing something here and is it in my power to control and change?

I'm getting really sick of this, I'm losing my enthusiasm for many things and just want to keep getting away from it even though I'll find it no matter where I go.