Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - She's cheating on me

Flame · 12-29-2006, 02:50 AM

IMHO:

Re: your relationship--

My impression from your last long post is that this girl is drama-prone, and you've played the hero trying to help her out. Even if it she isn't physically cheating yet, which is unlikely, she's emotionally attached to the other guy. You deserve better.

There is a reason you're not getting the answers/solutions you want on this thread. You aren't ready to face the realities of your situation, which is **completely understandable** given your affection for this women and your emotional turmoil. You probably feel that no one has been in your exact situation. That is true, but it doesn't negate the great advice above from people who have been in very similar situations. Please try to understand that. Since these people here don't know you or your girl, this advice is more objective than friends who don't want to hurt your feelings.

Re: your overall happiness and well-being--

If you do want to keep this girl, or attract someone "better," you need to work on yourself-- your confidence, SELF-RESPECT, and outlook on life in general. You say your life isn't worth living w/o her in your life. While that might stroke her ego (and make it easier to take advantage of you), it won't make a woman respect you or want to be with you for the long term. You would benefit from seeing an objective 3rd party in person (eg. a counselor or life coach) to start taking steps toward making your life seem worthwhile, independent of another person. If you don't believe in therapists or life coaches, check out the dozens of PD threads on this forum for tips on getting the most out of your life and relationships. If you can realize your potential and take pride in yourself, no matter what obstacles you face in the future, **you won't ever feel as hopeless as you do now**.

You will never achieve LASTING HAPPINESS & A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP if you continue to let your worth be defined by someone else.

I wish you the best.

No matter what happens with this girl, I hope you will revisit this thread when "the storm has cleared" b/c you may get more out of this thread when your emotions aren't overwhelming you.

12-29-2006, 02:50 AM	#56 (permalink)
Flame Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29	IMHO: Re: your relationship-- My impression from your last long post is that this girl is drama-prone, and you've played the hero trying to help her out. Even if it she isn't physically cheating yet, which is unlikely, she's emotionally attached to the other guy. You deserve better. There is a reason you're not getting the answers/solutions you want on this thread. You aren't ready to face the realities of your situation, which is completely understandable given your affection for this women and your emotional turmoil. You probably feel that no one has been in your exact situation. That is true, but it doesn't negate the great advice above from people who have been in very similar situations. Please try to understand that. Since these people here don't know you or your girl, this advice is more objective than friends who don't want to hurt your feelings. Re: your overall happiness and well-being-- If you do want to keep this girl, or attract someone "better," you need to work on yourself-- your confidence, SELF-RESPECT, and outlook on life in general. You say your life isn't worth living w/o her in your life. While that might stroke her ego (and make it easier to take advantage of you), it won't make a woman respect you or want to be with you for the long term. You would benefit from seeing an objective 3rd party in person (eg. a counselor or life coach) to start taking steps toward making your life seem worthwhile, independent of another person. If you don't believe in therapists or life coaches, check out the dozens of PD threads on this forum for tips on getting the most out of your life and relationships. If you can realize your potential and take pride in yourself, no matter what obstacles you face in the future, you won't ever feel as hopeless as you do now. You will never achieve LASTING HAPPINESS & A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP if you continue to let your worth be defined by someone else. I wish you the best. No matter what happens with this girl, I hope you will revisit this thread when "the storm has cleared" b/c you may get more out of this thread when your emotions aren't overwhelming you. Last edited by Flame; 12-29-2006 at 03:14 AM.