Quote:
Originally Posted by SupersecretIdentity  Heres some perspective on sex that Virgins don't often hear
Sex isn't a big deal. You don't feel any different, it's not as special and good as the media makes it out to be. After the first time, you're first reaction will probably be "Is that it?"
You will suck the first time. It's a fact, don't dwell on it. Don't expect to be good at first, but do be willing to learn and experiment.
Having sex once WILL NOT CHANGE YOU. Going from a Virgin to a non virgin is not a mystical transformation. You will still have anxiety after the first time. You will still be bad at it. You won't be much better with women after losing your virginity.
Sex is messy. Seriously, its gross. Hollywood makes it out to be very romantic and sweet. It's not. Its primal. It's dirty. It easy to do wrong.
Don't look at sex as something that will fix you or hurt you. It will happen on it's own naturally. Just worry about being yourself and not making a big deal out of it and everything will fall in place. Not easy advice to take, but so, so true. |
agreed, sex isn't a life altering event. It's not as significant as many people make it out to be.
The problem is that you fear if you are horrible at it you will become more depressed and feel worse about yourself. The problem isn't that you are a virgin, the problem is that you derive your self esteem (or lack of self esteem) from it. In other words "I haven't had sex so it means I am a loser".
Ironically, that type of low self esteem causes you not to have the confidence to meet and attract women. This goes back and worth while your depression goes deeper and deeper.
The key is not get your value, your sense of self worth from things outside of yourself or your accomplishments. If you slept with a woman or a 1,000 your self esteem will still be low. Yeah those things help but it will still be in the gutter.
The key is to learn how to dis-identify with your mind and learn to develop real self esteem-the two go hand and hand. Check out this article and see if it helps
How to love yourself