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Refocused Living · 11-16-2008, 11:52 PM

I've had that type of personal development problem before.

I recently wrote a blog post about having present-minded and future-minded thoughts and mindsets - which I highly recommend you read because it may bring about a few solutions to your problem. Sometimes when we think too future-based and all our actions fall into the category of "I'm doing this to make a better life for myself tomorrow," we emotionally drain ourselves. Our minds think "Wow, look how productive we are, we're gonna get so much work done!" when we see our goals, affirmations, and plans, but our subconscious thinks "Ugh, none of this work is what I really want to do. It's so boring. Why bother?" We sabotage ourselves before we even begin.

In my case, I would get really pumped up planning out my goals, writing detailed plans, creating a mission statement, and brainstorming what I'd want to accomplish. I'd change my diet, I'd exercise, I'd manage my time like a maniac. This all was present-based, "I'm doing this because it makes me feel great" thinking - and it did make me feel great! Doing detailed work like that is something I love; the nerdy side of me enjoys goal setting and planning.

But when it came down to working on the goals, all my goals were future-based. I didn't realize this until much later, but every one of the goals I used to set were to make me happier in the future.

I'd exercise because I would get a better body someday. I'd eat right and skip everything bad to be healthier in my 40s and 50s. I'd read new personal development books to get ideas for improving my life someday. I'd research new ways to make money online in hopes of actually making money online someday. Since nothing was present-based, this literally demotivated me and sent me on a downward trend, kind of like you were saying. I went from an emotional high, to something wrenching up my pattern (e.g., sleep super late one day), to having an overall lousy feeling 'cause I was so apathetic. Why would I want to work on something that doesn't make me feel ecstatic right now? Planning = fun. Working abysmally boring plans = no thank you!

It was only when I changed up my goals to reflect having fun in the now that I started to enjoy what I was accomplishing. I still have days that are down - everybody does! - but I've gotten a lot better at managing my feelings and life so those days don't happen frequently. My goals only have changed slightly, but I make the steps in achieving those goals more fun and rewarding. It's still a lot of work, but it's fun work.

So if I were you... I'd ask myself a few questions:

Are these goals really what I want to accomplish? Sometimes goals are fun to write on paper and plan out, but they're nothing close to what you really want to have.
Are my goals fun to work on right now? If the steps in your plan aren't overall enjoyable, you're not going to want to work on your goals. Not everything has to be fun and games, of course, but the majority of your goal should be something you enjoy working on, every step of the way. If they're not fun to work on right now, try being a little creative with the plans you create. What could you do to have fun with your goals?
Why do I let the little things get to me? Part of my problem was the fact I was letting minute things bother me. After doing some soul-searching, I realized the feelings came from trying to be a perfectionist with my time. When I let go of the belief that my days had to be scheduled perfect or *I* had to be perfect daily to accomplish my goals, those little trifles didn't bother me as much... and my motivation went up.
Am I having fun in life, in general? If you're thinking too future-based and only doing activities now to serve you better in the future, your soul is going to start throwing a hissy fit. You say your happiness is up, which is good, but sometimes we have to purposely have fun just for the sake of having fun. Do something you totally enjoy doing that has no impact on your future - play a video game (my personal favorite is the Sims 2!), take a long walk outside and enjoy nature, go shopping, run to Starbucks - something that makes you happy!

Once you can find goals (or plan out your goals) so that they're fun, you're naturally going to be motivated. This is where all the good stuff of personal development can be used to skyrocket your motivation - visualizations, reflecting on why you're going after your goals, etc. But you can do all the visualizations and reflections in the world and not get anywhere if little things severely bring you down and/or you personally think your goals are boring to work on.

Hope this helps! Like I said, read my post on present and future mindsets! It might really help you along.

11-16-2008, 11:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
Refocused Living Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 25	I've had this problem before! I've had that type of personal development problem before. I recently wrote a blog post about having present-minded and future-minded thoughts and mindsets - which I highly recommend you read because it may bring about a few solutions to your problem. Sometimes when we think too future-based and all our actions fall into the category of "I'm doing this to make a better life for myself tomorrow," we emotionally drain ourselves. Our minds think "Wow, look how productive we are, we're gonna get so much work done!" when we see our goals, affirmations, and plans, but our subconscious thinks "Ugh, none of this work is what I really want to do. It's so boring. Why bother?" We sabotage ourselves before we even begin. In my case, I would get really pumped up planning out my goals, writing detailed plans, creating a mission statement, and brainstorming what I'd want to accomplish. I'd change my diet, I'd exercise, I'd manage my time like a maniac. This all was present-based, "I'm doing this because it makes me feel great" thinking - and it did make me feel great! Doing detailed work like that is something I love; the nerdy side of me enjoys goal setting and planning. But when it came down to working on the goals, all my goals were future-based. I didn't realize this until much later, but every one of the goals I used to set were to make me happier in the future. I'd exercise because I would get a better body someday. I'd eat right and skip everything bad to be healthier in my 40s and 50s. I'd read new personal development books to get ideas for improving my life someday. I'd research new ways to make money online in hopes of actually making money online someday. Since nothing was present-based, this literally demotivated me and sent me on a downward trend, kind of like you were saying. I went from an emotional high, to something wrenching up my pattern (e.g., sleep super late one day), to having an overall lousy feeling 'cause I was so apathetic. Why would I want to work on something that doesn't make me feel ecstatic right now? Planning = fun. Working abysmally boring plans = no thank you! It was only when I changed up my goals to reflect having fun in the now that I started to enjoy what I was accomplishing. I still have days that are down - everybody does! - but I've gotten a lot better at managing my feelings and life so those days don't happen frequently. My goals only have changed slightly, but I make the steps in achieving those goals more fun and rewarding. It's still a lot of work, but it's fun work. So if I were you... I'd ask myself a few questions: Are these goals really what I want to accomplish? Sometimes goals are fun to write on paper and plan out, but they're nothing close to what you really want to have. Are my goals fun to work on right now? If the steps in your plan aren't overall enjoyable, you're not going to want to work on your goals. Not everything has to be fun and games, of course, but the majority of your goal should be something you enjoy working on, every step of the way. If they're not fun to work on right now, try being a little creative with the plans you create. What could you do to have fun with your goals? Why do I let the little things get to me? Part of my problem was the fact I was letting minute things bother me. After doing some soul-searching, I realized the feelings came from trying to be a perfectionist with my time. When I let go of the belief that my days had to be scheduled perfect or I had to be perfect daily to accomplish my goals, those little trifles didn't bother me as much... and my motivation went up. Am I having fun in life, in general? If you're thinking too future-based and only doing activities now to serve you better in the future, your soul is going to start throwing a hissy fit. You say your happiness is up, which is good, but sometimes we have to purposely have fun just for the sake of having fun. Do something you totally enjoy doing that has no impact on your future - play a video game (my personal favorite is the Sims 2!), take a long walk outside and enjoy nature, go shopping, run to Starbucks - something that makes you happy! Once you can find goals (or plan out your goals) so that they're fun, you're naturally going to be motivated. This is where all the good stuff of personal development can be used to skyrocket your motivation - visualizations, reflecting on why you're going after your goals, etc. But you can do all the visualizations and reflections in the world and not get anywhere if little things severely bring you down and/or you personally think your goals are boring to work on. Hope this helps! Like I said, read my post on present and future mindsets! It might really help you along.