Radical, you're a smart guy so you need to get clear on this: it's not about whether or not there are sexual undertones in male/female interactions and the good/bad judgments about it,
it's about you not getting a girl you wanted and beating yourself over it. It's also about your doubt of your own self-worth.
And despite what you're saying, you're also trying to rationalize and justify your inability to act and continued inability to act to yourself.
Now, I wouldn't have bothered to explain, but from your previous posts I know you're a smart guy and you'd understand...because you probably know this already
So you might also know the advice you need to hear:
buck up! Just like riding a bicycle isn't a skill you were born with, social, pick-up, flirting and seduction skills are things you need to learn and practice too...and yes, that does involve a lot of falling flat on your face, but your skin will get thicker from that
Now I'm not dissing you, I speak from experience, I've been where you are. Worse, because the girl I was absolutely convinced was the one I went out with,
several times over a decade...and it never worked out. Dude, I was
devastated.
Since then I've dated other girls, had fun, connection and passion, had 2 girlfriends, so I know
for a fact life goes on.
The first thing any decent PUA will tell you is that you need solid 'inner game' first, and that just means working on yourself, making yourself kick-ass and your life a joy. When that happens, you naturally attract people who are also kick-ass and have joyous lives.
So you have a choice,
you can overthunk this whole male/female/sex thing and become an onlooker, isolate yourself from the game with your reasons, or pick yourself up and play. Play so you become the player instead of the played, and I don't mean in the PUA sense.
Ultimately Radical, you need to love yourself wholeheartedly for who you are, because when you do, other people will too