Quote:
Originally Posted by funchy  It sounds like you're not really in control of the interactions, when they start/end, or who they're with. Do you feel like you're just a passive person? Or do you just not know how to lead the conversation at times? |
Over the past 2 years, I have developed the ability to start interactions. I still have trouble doing it in many situations, but if I'm feeling friendly and relaxed (I'd say about 40-50% of the time), I can start conversations with lots of people without much stress (the other times... well, that's for a different day to discuss). People have told me that I'm a passive person in many aspects and I have difficult speaking up, especially if I have to speak up and over someone else who is louder. I definitely do not know how to lead the conversation.
People tell me that I think too much about this and I should just let conversations happen. I personally think that is terrible advice since the problem seems clear to me that simply letting conversations happen without any sort of direction is a recipe for failure. You can only talk about fluff for so long before the other person becomes bored, and it's been my experience that most of the time, the other person really isn't interested in talking to me when I first approach them, and I have about 1 - 2 minutes to convince them that I'm worth their time. Just because everyone else can subconsciously and smoothly guide them, doesn't mean I can.