Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutha  Basically the hostess thought that she can help you to get into a conversation with a girl you didn't know and you found it uncomfortable and asked the girl to end it.
"What is the greatest passion in your life?"
It's not about tricking the other person, but about being genuine and asking the other person the thing you are interested in. |
Yeah, the conversation was dying, and I decided to end it before she did. I'd say the majority of the time, it's the other person who ends it early because they get bored or really never wanted to talk to me in the first place. I've learned that a large part of conversation is learning when to eject. No one wants to stand around and look stupid.
If someone asked me what my passion was, I think I would be freaked out. It sounds like an interview question ("If you could eat dinner with any historical figure, alive or dead, who would it be and why?"), and I think you have to build up from small talk to that. Perhaps my problem is that my conversations start out small and never go anywhere.
Most of the stuff I've read suggests that you first elicit values from someone based on what they talk about and then get into those heavier discussions. Is there some sort of fluffier way to elicit values? I've found conversations much easier in people who work in jobs that help other people (teachers, social workers, therapists, doctors) because I can ask them about what their future goals are in terms of their career. But even that is trite and somewhat boring.
So, I'd like to see how one of you would handle the above conversation and how you'd take the conversation from fluff to substance. Keep in mind that this girl was ~21 years old, it was a Halloween party, and we're all graduate students. Btw, we did discuss our respective costumes for quite a bit, but I edited that part out because, well, eventually, it all ran out of steam.