Dan,
There is some background to this story of the woman brought to Jesus for stoning that might make it easier to understand why there was a law to stone adulterers in the first place.
It's true that those men who brought that woman to Jesus were acting on what was written in those verses in the OT you quoted and I know the verses seem unmerciful. But in order for someone to actually be sentenced to be stoned, there were a specific set of steps that had to be followed first like this one.
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Deuteronomy 17:6 - At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death
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The Jews also have a companion set of teachings based on the Oral Torah, which was also received by Moses from God at the same time as those written parts we have in our Bibles. In the beginning, these more detailed instructions from God, which were only passed down orally from a master to a student and had to be memorized until they could be recited four times, further elaborated on how to carry out these laws of those OT books. Jewish people were required to know both Torahs so these accusing men also knew everything that had to happen before this woman could be stoned but they had rushed past all the steps and just sentenced her to die.
From the Oral law, the first thing that needed to be done is that there had to be a trial. It had to be established at that trial, by at least two witnesses, that the witnesses had seen all the sin from beginning. And it also had to be a fact that the witnesses warned the person that they were about to sin and of the death penalty for their sin. And the witnesses also had to testify that after the warning, the sinner acknowledged they understood the warning but was still going to sin. The accusers had to be willing to be the ones to carry out the punishment if they were the ones making the accusations. If any of these elements were missing, there could be no death penalty or stoning
Knowing these men knew all this, Jesus said, "You who are without sin cast the first stone." and bent down and started writing. By Oral law, even though he was without sin, He wasn't the one that was supposed to stone her because He wasn't her accuser. Some think while He was waiting, He was writing out all their own individual sins that were worthy of death. If that is what He wrote, these men would have known He had somehow been a witness to their sins, that maybe He really was from God. But we can't tell if they dropped their rocks just from remembering their own sins; somehow I think it had to be more to it and involved what He was writing. To be granted mercy, realizing He knew and still hadn't accused them, while in the process of seeking someone else's death certainly seems to be enough to cause someone to drop their rocks and leave.
When Jesus looked up and said, "Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?" her trial was over because there were not the required accusers to proceed.
There are even more requirements to stoning a rebellious child, so many, that at the end of listing them, they say of that particular sin and stoning, '"It never happened and it never will happen."
We don't study these other set of detailed instructions God gave Moses because we are not required to follow the Torah laws to the letter like the Jews. The OT books that are in our Bibles are there mainly to help us better understand those New Testament verses that refer to OT verses or principles.
The New Covenant Jesus made with us is one of faith and following His Spirit. He told us that all of those Oral and Written teachings, the Law, were based on loving God and loving our neighbor. That's pretty clear and simple to understand. But if a person wants to go deeper and understand more about the God of the Bible, studying these other teachings can help. The more I learn, the more I see that God made provisions for mercy all along.
I hope others can see the this same picture of God in those teachings that I see, that God is not the one seeking to punish or accuse, that accusers have to know ALL about what happened, that the sinner has to have been told he is doing wrong and also know what the punishment for it is. And the sinner then has to let the accuser know he understands but still rejects the warning. If we take this as a model of how God handles sin, it seems clear to me that no one could ever be our accuser but God Himself.
And this is what happens to false accusers from Deuteronomy 19:18-19
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And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother; Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you.
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I know we have been discussing gay rights on another thread and because most Christians think homosexuality is a sin, it may seem like we are judging or condemning a person but we are not. Believing what the Bible says about sex is not the same as bringing a person before God to be stoned. The disagreement in beliefs shouldn't cause a person to feel judged.
My friends laugh at me when I say, "We all could be gay" And they say "Maybe you could but not me." But I really believe that. We all could be gay or commit adultery or molest a child or kill someone or lie, steal or cheat but for the grace of God, like Paul said. I think whatever power we have over doing something wrong either came to us as a gift or comes from submitting to God and following Him.
That's one reason I asked the questions of how you know you were born gay, to understand God better and if that is really what He allows. The conclusions I have reached from talking to other gay friends about their sexuality, is that it's a choice. A choice or preference based on complicated influences but still a choice.
I have found that there really is more to God than just drawing lines in the sand and then threatening us with death if we cross them. I have been a slight sex addict in the past myself and have worked through my own issues of desire, and condemning myself and of failing to find a way to live in the sin and still have spirituality and peace. The acts may be different but people are not that different because we all struggle with those questions of reconciling what God says about sex with our desires and our freedom to do something else.