The thing is, I've experienced how approaching people on this level can change everything. It's amazing, and really what's more likely to occur than rejection and offense is that people become more calm and peaceful.
And it's not really so much about trying to get people to open themselves up or steering a conversation to something more quiet -- the change takes place at a level previous to any words or actions, more at the level of cause than effect. When you let go of the reactive patterns and are at peace with the possibility that maybe you simply won't say anything in response to someone, your response will automatically be the best one for that situation. It then comes from somewhere deeper than the thinking mind, and the words themselves are less important than the state of being which they come out of. You're then approaching someone that wants you to play along in the reactive game, but you decline the offer and invite him or her to join you at a more peaceful level instead, all without necessarily saying or doing anything in particular.
In practical terms, as I experience this myself, it is a question of trusting that whatever comes out of that deeper level is going to be the best possible response in any situation. The world will continue to bombard you with demands for reaction, but when you've let go of that level entirely it's almost as if all of it goes through you. And in this way no one is ever able to drag you down to the level of form, which can only happen if you react.
It then no longer feels like you've been pulled out of yourself in all directions, and interacting with other people is then no less peaceful than being alone.
I remember seeing this in interviews with the Dalai Lama, how he seems distant sometimes, almost like he's not listening to the person talking to him, but then out comes a response that you can tell didn't arise on the level of effort and reaction.
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