[LordSappington]

A typical conversation.... that's a hard one. I'll try to recreate the most recent conversation I had at a party. So I had just finished a conversation with someone and was standing around trying to figure out what to do next when one of the hostesses grabbed my hand, grabbed a nearby girl's hand, and taped us together. She then informed us that, to encourage people to mix, she was doing this to random people (I think we were the only ones this happened to). To put this into context, this was a party mixer between two different programs at the graduate school.

Me: Uhhh... hello, person I'm now taped to. I'm XYZ.
Her: Hi. I'm QRS.
Me: So, what program are you in?
Her: I'm a first year in the program of medicine. What about you?
Me: I'm a fourth year in (my program).
Her: Oh, so you work in a lab. What are you studying?
Me: I work in (so and so's lab) studying (stuff I study). My project focuses on (specific topic I study). So, how are you liking first year?
Her: It's hard but fun.
(awkward silence)
Me: Not that I'm not enjoying talking to you, but how long are we supposed to stay taped together? This is a bit uncomfortable.
Her: Yeah, let's take it off. (peels off tape)
Me: You're lucky that you don't have much hair on your arms.
Her: Did that hurt?
Me: A bit, but I'll get over it.
Her: Anyhow, I'm going to get some more beer. See you around.

That's a pretty typical conversation in a mixer environment, except in my experience, graduate students are actually a bit in specific details of my work than the average person I meet; if I detect that other person is interested in that, I go into a lot more detail. For most people, I try to keep it short because, seriously, no one wants me to go into a long treatise about what I study. Lately, when people ask me questions about myself, I give a brief answer and freeze up and let the conversation die. I don't know why; my mind just goes completely and utterly blank.

I find that my social anxiety makes it nearly impossible for me to approach people in a non-mixer environment such as outdoor festivals where everyone is hanging out with their group of friends. I really have no idea how to force myself to do that, so when I do, the conversations are usually much briefer and much more awkward.

So, instead of that admittedly boring conversation, should I keep a list of interesting topics on hand and abruptly change the subject? "So, I read somewhere that the banana will be extinct in 5-10 years / they cured AIDS in someone with a bone marrow transplant / the New Kids on the Block are touring again." Is there some open ended question I could ask to get them to talk about whatever their passion is? And once we get talking, how do I transition from a one-off conversation to a friendship?