[Zwynd]

I've been doing a major overhaul in my life. Something about my career finally clicked.

For many, many years I have been trying to find my ideal career. I never really fit in anywhere. I'm an illustrator, storyteller, I craft with clay, knit, I love gardening, I like writing, I love languages, playing/creating music/videos, I also like networking (well, I can do it in games.) While I could focus on one, it seems that I get discouraged or something holds me back or it just doesn't feel fun enough.

With that, I've always called myself a Bard; the 'jack of all trades, master of none.'

I think though, maybe I got it.

I realized I had a 'click' the other day when I was writing up some stuff for my guild's website. I'm their web admin, I'm also an officer in the guild and help people to help themselves. I delegate, teach other officers as well as members how to be more effective with their character class, time and so on. I'm wonderful with networking in the game. I do it more than I actually play online. I've brought people together in a positive way that shouldn't actually be possible because of guild/faction restrictions.

Yet, for years I had been sitting at home irl looking at half-finished drawings and go "This doesn't make sense. Why can't I get a career going? How come I can be productive in the game yet I can't be productive with <task> irl?"

You know what my passion is? It's to continue doing what I'm doing in game but have it also done irl. I don't want to lead a club that goes out dragon-slaying...though that would be interesting. I want to network irl. I want to bridge gaps that some people think impossible to attempt. I want to pull in resources and teach others how to do the same. And I hadn't thought of what I could network or focus on till this week.

Languages. By the gods. It's my bridge. I could be a multi-lingual translator that also teaches. Like a walking diplomat of no country. A true bard. I love languages, cultures. I love talking with people and hearing their stories. I hate gossiping/negative small-talk and that hasn't been much of an issue for people who I help teach English to.

I hadn't seen it. Till recently. It's still all hitting me now. My storytelling could go into my languages. I can craft and share my knowledge with other cultures/people without worrying if someone is mis-translating me because -I'm- doing the translating. I can be a life coach all the while learning from each culture I'm visiting.

How far/high can I go with this goal? What is the furthest someone's gone? I want to get there, and then go past it. I seriously feel the strongest desire to pursue this. I'm thrilled at the thought.

I've decided today I want to be fluent in at least 5 languages in only a few years (right now I know a smattering in a whole bunch.) I already know how to do this, I just never had the courage to do it. I'm going to set some time tonight and figure out a rough time-line to start with. Goals. Maybe a crash course of learning 2 languages before the end of the year. I know I can do it, I have all the resources or at least the knowledge of how to find them.

I actually feel there's clarity in my future. Not a solid "I will work here, retire here" but a feeling of "I can really use my skills, have fun with it, it's very easy for me and damn it get paid to do it."

My future is uncertain but my true happiness is guaranteed now that I believe I've found my passion. There will be ups and downs in my life, as is natural, but that I actually feel I can be of use in this world and will enjoy such a passion...man that's it right there.

Anyone have any insight they'd be willing to share? It's more than welcome.

In the meantime I'm writing out my lists. I've got this motivation going and I need to get everything down and recognized so I can start focusing on this new path.

I'm not going to be sluggish with this anymore. I'm going to pursue it. It's the most clear passion I've had since ever. If it turns out it's not my thing I'll still have gained a lot from it. Win-win. Finally.