Steve,
A written letter? That reminds me of breaking up with someone by passing a note in class! If you're going to be direct why can't you say this to them in person?
On changing someone, relationships and how people act are a lot like Vases; in the first few weeks/months you're mixing the clay (deciding the rules of the relationship) and then firing up the kiln (repeating and establishing the rules). During this time it's easy enough to change the relationship - or walk away - but after the relationship is set, it's a lot harder to change.
Lots of love,
Colm
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