Hmm let me offer a different perspective.
I was an active life coach for nearly 1 and a half years and saw hundreds of people through our personal development programs. I've also been an NLP (
Neuro-Linguistic Programming) junkie for over a decade.
Back when I started PD, I'd constantly think thoughts like; 'why did I screw that bit of my life up?', 'why didn't I do this-or do that?', 'just why am I behaving in this limited way' or
'what is the cause of my limitations?'
In my coaching experience, I also saw tons of people asking themselves this question: 'what is the cause of my limitations?'
It's taken me over a decade and hundreds of hours of coaching to realize this fundamental truth:
the act of looking for the cause of your self-sabotage is self-sabotaging.
Don't get me wrong, some people do need to go back and resolve issues in the past that keep them stuck. But I've found that the number of people who need to is
smaller than what most people think.
A major turn-around in my growth as a coach was when I left the digging for problem-causes until way later in the program. I'd refuse to participate in looking for causes of problems, but instead focus on present strengths and future goals, i.e.
a solutions-focused and future-orientated approach instead of a problem-focused and past-orientated one.
Most of the time it worked!
The bottom-line was it came down to a shift in mindset, if you observe successful people they have the ability to shrug off obstacles, mistakes and disappointments and instead look forward to the future. Someone who's 'stuck' usually does the opposite, create a brighter picture of the miserable past than a larger picture of a brighter future.
So, a possible solution:
Instead of looking for causes of problems, focus so much on your positive traits, building your strengths and creating a magnificent future for yourself that the causes remain in the past where they belong.