How interesting this thread was revived!
I haven't read Carr's book. I was in recovery for almost 17 years, and was alcohol- and drug-free that entire time. About 2 years ago, I stopped feeling at home in 12-step meetings, and I guess it was about a year ago that I accepted that that was OK, it wasn't a failing on my part (or theirs!). A few months ago, I had a drink with a friend who was in town. It was an experiment... what will this be like? I enjoyed the high kind of feeling I got, but was TIRED the next few days, I mean just dragging. From one drink! My sleep pattern didn't change at all. Then, a few weeks ago, I had a glass of wine with dinner - that was one thing I missed most of all those 17 years, really good wine with really good food. I wasn't super-tired the next day. I thought - hmmm... this might be something I want to do. Not often, or even regularly, but once or twice a year? Why not? In those next few weeks, though, I realized I was feeling... lackluster. I wasn't so interested in setting goals, or furthering myself on my path. I was just - meh. Living. Not thriving. It's only in the last few days that I realized, I think it was the alcohol! I knew I needed to watch for depression - I've been prone to that in the past, and alcohol is a depressant. This didn't feel like depression, it was more... not caring. Yeah, I'm working a job I know isn't my true path. So what? Maybe it's what I'm meant to do; maybe I'm never supposed to go beyond this in my life.
I know that attitude can be attributed to lots of things, but alcohol is the only different thing I had done... and as it's cleared away, that feeling has cleared away. It was more a spiritual effect, than anything physical.
I'm choosing to stay away from alcohol - I want to THRIVE!
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