 I recommend being present.
The "person who caused you the most pain" is not someone from your past. The person who causes you pain is you, in each moment you choose to grasp old pain till your knuckles are white and wring great suffering from it. You're free to do that, of course. You're also free to choose something that might work better -- like being present to the person you're with, and like being grateful for the lessons your old teachers have given you.
Surrender takes practice.
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