My ex and I got into an argument about his viewing of porn after his sex drive took a nose dive. Tears were shed, and after many heated discussions we worked out a few things:
1) He said he wasn't attracted to those girls as people. Just their bodies. Watching them helped him get off more easily. Which, as a guy, is apparently almost a daily necessity. This made me feel only a smidgen better.
2) I associate sex with intimacy. Because I only have sex with one other person, I view sharing my sexual side as a very intimate experience. When he watches someone else, it takes away from that intimacy.
3) In the end we decided he could watch it, but I didn't want to know about.
Interestingly, I have watched porn on my own and towards the second half of our relationship we would sometimes watch it together.
I hear from men how much they're attracted to beautiful women, and I have started seeing porn as a way of dealing with these sexual impulses with out physically hurting their partner. As for my ex- he is not the cheating type and did love me quite dearly. But perhaps this biases my opinion of it.
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