Thank you very much sbdiane
What you're saying about my having a problem with visualization is very well possible indeed. I'm totally not a visual person. Of course I can visualize, and I have a lot of fantasy, but I have a feeling that visualizing doesn't connect me with my heart. I can visualize anything, not only what really touches me deeply.
I feel imperfectly connected to my own heart!
As a child I wanted to be an explorer like Vasco de Gama or Magellan, or an astronaut to explore space. At some point I wanted to be an acrobat. I also knew all along I would become a writer, that was self-evident for me. And I also wanted to be a singer. I don't remember exactly.
What I loved to do as a child was reading books (quality novels and also books about all kinds of subjects like the maya civilisation or daily life in the middle ages) and spending time in nature, especially with animals.
I cannot draw a picture of my perfect day, I really don't know what my perfect day would look like. It could be just anything.
You're right, I'll try to connect with my heart and find out what it wants. Many things appear great to me when I think of them, but when I ask my heart if I
really want it deep down, the answer is no.
Hmmm.. thank you