My sister had a friend in college who was very afeminate. For the longest time we all thought he was gay, but the topic never came up in conversation, and my sister never felt comfortable asking him directly.
After a couple of years of friendship they went on a road trip and I guess to save money ended up sharing a bed at a hotel. According to my sister she didn't think it twice, since by that time she was certain he was gay, but that night he essentially tried to force himself on her while she was sleeping.
He blamed it on a couple of beers he had before they went to bed, and spent the rest of the night on the floor, but the friendship ended that night.
Long story short, set some serious boundaries and follow your intuition.
Also, I think Funchy made some great points about where your husband stands in all of this.
If guess if ALL THREE OF YOU (your husband included) are good friends, some topics are okay when all three of you are present, but if he's asking you for backrubs when your husband is not around...that is definitely a red flag.
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