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Originally Posted by Parthon  The purpose is to give up the attachment to the outcome, but keep the source of inspiration. To be able to put yourself in the positive state of whatever you can imagine: like Empowering,and Confident. Although I don't think they really inspire you, what inspires you around social interactions? It's the difference between remembering confident and being confident. |
I get inspiration from my desired outcome. If i knew ahead of time that something was going to embarrass me or make a fool out of myself,i wouldn't be inspired at all! I still can't figure out how to be confident for something when it always ends up bad! In order to be confident about something,i have to KNOW it will work out the way i want,otherwise there is nothing to get confident about.
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Well, why must other people talk first? Are you expecting them to talk, or do you need for them to say something so you have something to respond to? What in yourself stops you from talking to these ladies that you work with? I know you can have really deep and soulfull conversations with people you know well, but you want to be able to have them with anyone right?
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I wish i knew the answers! I have been trying to identify reasons in my head every time this happens,and i never really have any answers! I just feel uncomfortable. I know they'll talk back to me,but then they always go back to talking amongst themselves so i know its useless to try to talk to people who don't talk to me. To me it feels like,you know how they say "if you keep doing the same thing expecting different results,then youre an idiot" well i feel like an idiot every time i talk to people and the same thing happens,they end up talking to somebody else who is cooler/funnier/more talkative,whatever. Then i always say to myself "i shouldn't try to be something i'm not",but then i think "but i AM cool and i AM funny,i am not a loser!" so i feel like i'm trying to fit in with people i belong with but they dont think i fit in.
I really feel this the most when,(sadly enough,since this is my favorite thing to do) i'm at a concert. Because that is where my heart truly belongs,that's where i feel like i fit in,i'm around others who are on the same wavelength as me,but i still don't even fit in there!! Cuz i'm so much older than them and they are so young and hip and all there with their huge groups of friends and there i am,by myself,and when i try to talk to people they act like they dont want to be bothered. Yet that is the only place i feel i belong. So what do you do when you don't even fit in where you belong?! Sorry i'm rambling on and on here LOL
What it all boils down to is i'm just not good at talking,because I never was a talker. Starting back when i was 5 years old or so,i'd bury my face in magazines and books. I'd sleep over at my grandma's house and i'd spend most of the time not even talking to her or my grandpa,just reading her books and magazines.
So maybe my problem is just that this is my personality,to be quiet,and shy. But i dont know if that is a personality trait or if i've been socially challenged since i was a little kid LOL Is that possible to get screwed up so young like that? What if social anxiety is nothing more than the result of forcing an introvert to become an extrovert?