When you're suicidal, a "reality check" might be what you need, but it's very likely just to make the suicidal feel worse. I've been there. And I felt the guilt knowing I was supposed to be better but didn't know how to get there, couldn't summon the courage to climb up that cliff face myself. And it just added to it.
Reality checks take a lot of courage to accept. And if you're suicidal, you don't give a rat's you-know-what if you're cowardly or not. You just want out. You just want it to end.
And I agree - suicide can be a lesson in itself. What if there were two people - A and B, I'll call them. A's incredibly depressed and wants to die. Just before they do it, B kills themself. A is horribly shocked and stunned. A finds a way and gets out of the depression, and ends up doing something major later and making huge differences to many people's lives. Which they couldn't have done if B hadn't died, because then A would have killed themselves.
I'm not saying "go kill yourself", or that suicide is good. I'm just saying it shouldn't be condemned, because as someone else said - condemnation is kicking them when they're down. Adding insult to injury. Really - I think that people who are saying "Suck it up" are people who need to develop compassion and patience. And I'll admit - that's something I need to develop myself. Even though I've both (badly - I wouldn't have died even if I didn't go to my parents to stem the bleeding after I freaked out and realised it wasn't what I was supposed to do) attempt suicide and had one of my best friends attempt suicide not long after I did, I honestly don't know how to help people down there when I look at them.
But like the person above said with the teddy bear and the gun - sometimes those lessons are needed. I needed to attempt suicide - it was the one event that, for sure, turned my life around. I didn't realise that death wasn't what I wanted until I'd sliced my arm open. And to drive the point home, my friend overdosed (but survived, thank the gods). Will I ever be there again? I sure as hell hope not, because if I ever will be, it means I'll have forgotten the lessons that I learned from both of those experiences.
Both of these lessons were risky. Gone horribly wrong, not one person, but two people would have died. (When my friend overdosed, I was the one who called another of his friends, who managed to convince him to go to the hospital with his parents.) I'm just very, very grateful that the lessons were executed perfectly, and that both of us survived. And neither of the two of us have ever been there again. I'll admit - there have been times since when I just wished I was dead. But I've never, ever hurt myself again and would never actually go through with it again. I've learned.
I was given compassion, and since that day I rejected it, I had my teddy shot instead. It was a one off thing, but I was playing with a gun at the time and needed to be shown. It's brutal. Sometimes brutal lessons are needed. But that doesn't mean we condemn it or judge them. I doubt Mato judged his sister when she needed that lesson - he just carried it out. That's what we need to do. Not judge them, but help them learn.
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