I strongly agree with Belugagirl... even a few minutes spent holding grandma's hand and just being with her will mean so much to her, and you will be grateful to yourself later for having given her that.
As for your cousins -- I would go beyond the intention of "serenely unaffected" (which is fix-it, or lack, thinking) and be the intention of boundless generosity. It might be fun for you to give them the gift yourself, if as Belugagirl mentioned, they need you so badly in order to feel better about themselves. Ask them to bestow their "giftedness" on you, and have fun watching them preen and primp!
I would also suggest boldly and confidently announcing that you're working on a project that takes most of your attention and will mean this party is the only one you'll be attending this holiday season -- and that you hope to hear some good stories about the parties you'll unfortunately be missing. Practice your charisma. Give your grandma a big smooch and depart with a big smile and wave!
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