Wow! I'm going to repeat exactly the same in this post, sorry, but this paragraph about focus still amazes me every time I think of it.
Till now I used to set goals using the perfect life method: imagine your perfect life in five (or ten or twenty) years from now and set your goals based on that. I always had problems with this method, because I have many interests and a lot of fantasy so I can imagine dozens of perfect lives for me...
Now I can see why it's not only a difficult but also a bad method. Because those wishes come from my imagination, my fantasy, and that's not the same as what really resonates with me on a deep, deep, emotional level! That's why
right now my goals did not fill me with burning desire, powerful motivation, etc. All of this is nice, of course I imagine nice things, but that's a weak motivation.
I discovered that my goals, no matter how great they were, were weak for me personally, and disconnected from what truly drives me.
Many aspects of my "perfect life" don't resonate with me right now, even without being goals. For example it's never been an explicit goal of mine to be in a relationship, but I always thought that being in a healthy, loving, etc., romantic relationship, sorta kinda is part of every fulfilled life. In my "perfect life" there always was a boyfriend somewhere. And now I realize that a boyfriend totally doesn't make me feel good when I think of it right now. I'm not thinking of any relationship problems or foreseeing doom and gloom on my path to a relationship. No, no... Thinking of being in a healthy, loving romantic relationship just doesn't make me feel empowered, joyful or happy. Just like thinking of a big car wouldn't be of any interest to me. I always thought that if some day I am in such a relationship I would feel happy about it. But do I feel happy about it right now? No. Does it improve my present-moment reality? No. On the contrary!
This is just one example but there are many of them. It's like almost everything I have ever wanted was not worth it, or even disempowering. Steve is such a pain in the ass, he just destroyed my life
Now I'm sitting on a pile of shards and have no clue about what I want.
