I think Lucid Dreamer provides a very good answer!
I think lack of assertiveness comes from a self confidence aspect. There are plenty of softer natured girls that I know with beautiful feminine personalities, yet they absolutely respect themselves and value their self worth so when someone does something or says something that may provoke them ... it seriously does not affect them, or they have the assertivesss to earn their own respect.
Now i not saying you have low confidence or anything. We all have moments of self doubt and worry. But maybe if you work on your confidence a bit, talk to some assertive and confident people and read a couple of books you can maybe learn something and apply those things that will work ...
The you will start to find that these situations won't even appear in yoru life, because you earn the respect of people from the get go.
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