Quote:
Originally Posted by Holistic Star  Hi Cro,
I'll have to teach you the British way of cutting someone down to size with nothing more than a raised eyebrow and a little snooty distain!
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Heh! I've got it down to a fine art. Works like a charm!
My view is that you have a problem with assertiveness. I've always had no problem dealing with bullies because, when I've been exposed to them, in my mind I'm saying the mantra: "You're not getting the better of me! You're not getting the better of me!" And I put myself in a "it's me-or-you" frame of mind which does not allow me to back down under any circumstances. Believe me, when people see you're not going to back down, they leave you alone.
That said, I've always been an absolute wimp when it comes to friends and family. I could never say no because I always felt guilty and I was brought up to be a
nice girl. So I was really angry all the time because I knew people were taking advantage of me.
What I did was read a couple of assertiveness training books, one especially geared to women, and they helped tremendously. I still consciously use assertiveness techniques to this day, especially when I'm exposed to pushy salespeople who won't take no for an answer. The trick is to just repeat the same phrase (eg. "Sorry, I'm not interested.") over and over again no matter what they say, even if they try to draw you into conversation. I've said it up to 6 times before they gave up. Just don't give in to them before they give up! You'll be able to observe blatant, no-holds-barred manipulation in action.
Hope this helps.