Lauxa, thanks for your reply.
In the past, I found myself showing some personality traits similar to my mothers, such as trying to control everything (and everyone) and having moments where I was cold towards my partner for no logical reason. Thankfully I realised this and I knew exactly where I had picked it up from. I work very hard on not being this person anymore. I work hard on being accepting and not judgmental. I really enjoy being compassionate towards everything (I love making other people smile) and letting people be themselves, and I enjoy feeling happy. I work on having these feelings more in my life and applying them in every situation. Albeit, I still have a lot of work to do because I find it very difficult still to apply these good feelings with my mother when she is being difficult.
It's very hard for me to visualise my mother being warm and loving when she is ignoring me, slamming doors, thumping up and down the stairs (which are above my room) and trying to avoid being in the same room as me. The air gets very tense. I try to think - I am the bigger person here and just let her ride out her mood. But in those situations, I find everyone in the house ignores me. There have been times where other members of my family have sided with me and well, the result wasn't pretty for them. So now if my mum ignores me, everyone does. It can get pretty lonely in the house. It's hard to stay positive and think pretty thoughts at those times.
But I like your ideas, and I will try them. I have nothing to lose!
Thank you
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