Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Is viewing porn while in a relationship cheating?

jfrancis · 10-22-2008, 01:18 PM

I touched on this in the other thread, but I'll have another stab at it. As I see it 'cheating' has to do much more with breaking agreements in a relationship, rather than just sex. Heck, people in open relationships don't even view sex with others as cheating. It's all about communicating your boundaries with your partner.
Sex still seems to be one of the biggest taboos (at least in my culture- the US) so I can see why anything pornish could be viewed as cheating in a relationship. But if both people decide it's no big deal, then it's no big deal. No need to hide or sneak behind anyone's back. The problem comes when one or both parties does think it's a big deal. Often these agreements are unspoken. People have hangups about porn, yet tons of people still view porn, many of them in secret because they fear that they will be judged, and there are plenty of people who are ready and willing to judge. I think that once you start sneaking around on your partner, though, even if it's just to look at porn, it sets a precedent in the relationship. That's when there's a problem - there needs to be communication. Just my opinion.

10-22-2008, 01:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
jfrancis Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 105	I touched on this in the other thread, but I'll have another stab at it. As I see it 'cheating' has to do much more with breaking agreements in a relationship, rather than just sex. Heck, people in open relationships don't even view sex with others as cheating. It's all about communicating your boundaries with your partner. Sex still seems to be one of the biggest taboos (at least in my culture- the US) so I can see why anything pornish could be viewed as cheating in a relationship. But if both people decide it's no big deal, then it's no big deal. No need to hide or sneak behind anyone's back. The problem comes when one or both parties does think it's a big deal. Often these agreements are unspoken. People have hangups about porn, yet tons of people still view porn, many of them in secret because they fear that they will be judged, and there are plenty of people who are ready and willing to judge. I think that once you start sneaking around on your partner, though, even if it's just to look at porn, it sets a precedent in the relationship. That's when there's a problem - there needs to be communication. Just my opinion.