You create the life you want. If you pursue this relationship, she may agree to be with you but it's not likely that the dynamics will change. You will probably always wonder whether she cares for you like you want, even if you're engaged, even if you are married, even if you have children. You may always be asking for reassurance, for more affection, for her to tell you how she really feels and you may always get the same kind of vague but hopeful answers. Some people just approach relationships this way without fully committing.
Men (and women) sometimes see it as a challenge to overcome coolness in another; to win a prize with their efforts. And some people like that puppy dog adoration from others. There are a lot of dating books that tell us to be hard to get, maintain an independent life and not show affection in order to draw out that chase factor in others.
Obviously this is working on you. I am not saying she is doing it deliberately but that maybe there is something in you that needs to win over someone's love and approval. If you are taking the fact that you keep thinking about her as a sign of some deep love, try to reconsider it in the light of your past family relationships or your personality.
I was unsure of my dad's love so the most addictive relationships to me were the one's that started off with the other person being cool, or wild and to be tamed. I am also the type of person that is drawn to a mystery or to solving puzzles, to winning. If you look at other people's unhealthy relationships, you will see the patterns, of one person being a savior or a martyr or a doormat. Only you know whether this is true love you feel but I can tell you that I have found love is better without puzzles, obstacles and games included.
Being in a one-sided or unequal relationship gives us that feeling like we get when we wave at someone and they don't wave back. Usually we think it's because they don't see us so we keep trying to get their attention and a response. But what if they do see us and they still don't acknowledge us? What does that say about their feelings for us? Or about us, if we keep expecting a different response?
Doesn't she already know that you are trying to get her attention? It's likely she does know what you want but she doesn't want the same thing, at least not right now. To her, you may be the male version of the "good for now" person. The way she is responding seems to say she wants to leave her options open for the future, maybe in case she meets another doctor in medical school. Or maybe she just doesn't want to hurt you or create any drama by completely rejecting you and is willing to leave the friendship as it is.
If you love her so much you are willing to wait until she explores the world and possibly comes back to you, then hold on for as long as it takes, maybe another 5 or possibly 10 years, until she's a doctor. I've heard of people that waited their whole lives and finally the object of their affection realized they had been there all the time.
Is that the role you want to play in this? Or do you want to do what she's doing, leave the door open to her but also to other women who might be also be seeking a more mutually satisfying relationship? Whether it's with her or a new woman, I hope you don't settle for less than a relationship where both people are actively pursuing and fully loving each other.
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