Hi again boys and girls,
I've been in really hard couple of days :-(. Turns out it's not what I supposed it was. I probably "exagerated" the situation in my head. There's never been a message "I love you" in her phone. Others like "kisses", etc were there. And she explained to me that she had always found him attractive (as I mentioned in my first post) but has always kept her "feelings" for him strict... never allowed herself to anything more than a conversation. Or at least tells me so, and she's always been honest with me - even when I haven't liked it. Turns out that he is allowing himself such behaviour only in text messages.... has never done something like that in their conversations live.
She's a wonderful girl. And just when I thought it was going to be OK... and we were settled, something happened. Or many things happened. I kept being sad yesterday, although we talked alot, discussed me, and she told me she loved me and will always love me....First, suddenly at lunch she started crying and told me she couldn't continue that thing to me. It's because her family is poor and she's very proud to accept and help from outside (including me). And she started a second work two-three months ago. And started thinking about her education too - she wants to study jazz singing, or something close. And told me before that, at this stage of her life, a relationship is so hard for her to maintain. After all the problems (her family has lots of debts), and intentions (studying, changing her life for better) she told me that she couldn't afford herself to pay the attention I deserved. And that she'd try to do it... but I have to be patient. And I agreed.
That was a couple of months ago.
Yesterday when she started crying, she told me that probably it's better not to continue to ruin my life..... and kept crying all day long. We talked a lot. I've always tried to be supportive at anything she chose to do. Now I'm uncertain what will happen. We haven't decided to put an end to out relationship. But she didn't put much hope in me after out talk. I want her in my life. That's what I want. I want her to accept me and help her in anything
Don't know what to do. Haven't eaten almost anything in the last couple of days. Even my thinking is so messed. Probably even the post above is messy.
p.s. Again yesterday with three of the salaries from her new job she could save some money to pay some of the debts. And when she payed them it turned out that she didn't have to - there have been more urgent and threatening payments. The payment she made wasn't important at all. And this is a whole lot of money in the country I live in (about 400$) and such quantity isn't easy to save with our standard of living.
p.p.s And a couple of days ago there's been a flood in their apartment. From a fault in the washing machine. Her mother came back yesterday and she's almost crazy now - the flood ruined important documents, important memories.... And her mother haven't stopped blaming her for these (payment + flood) since yesterday.
My girlfriend is now at her home, crying almost all the time, not wanting to see me and blaming herself for all the problems, that happened, for ruining her mothers life and mine too...
Any advice would be welcomed! I really don't know what to do from now on. All I want, again, is her. In my life. I think I can trust her enough! And be the MAN for her. As I'm sure she's THE ONE for me!
Help!
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