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Originally Posted by JimOfferman  (I personally don't like the game of hard to get at all... if you play hard to get, you're not going to be my partner - period). |
I don't like the "hard to get" games either.
When someone is playing hard to get, the meta message they are putting off is that they are very busy doing very important things (VIT), or very fun things (VFT), or both. Most people are pretty attracted to that. Very important and very fun! Wow! Who wouldn't wants to date someone who is doing VFTs or VITs with their time? Wouldn't you? It's exciting! And that excitement can be like a drug.
Unfortunately, if someone is playing hard to get, it usually turns out that they weren't really busy with VITs or VFTs (attractive! exciting!) at all - they were just putting on a show. So now, not only do they have nothing attractive going on, but it seems they were faking all along. They now not only seem boring, but deceptive too.
99% of the time people who "play hard to get" are doing just what it sounds like: playing. Playing a part. Acting.
I basically assume up front when someone acts "too busy" that they are just playing games. I put them on my mental "ignore list" until something happens that changes my mind.
Genuinely attractive people will connect with you authentically, not put up a front. The last thing I want is to date someone who kicks things off with lies or a mask.