This is a relationship strung out over how many years, and then "she moves down, we hang out more, and somewhere along the way I developed feelings for her"?
I know it's a strong feeling you have, and it's a lot of time invested, but just stop, and take this as a lesson and learn from it; there's no such thing as failure, only feedback. It's unfortunate it happened with this girl, but you might as well find a few other girls to date, if nothing else to enjoy and get your mind off of her.
It's apparent you're really intelligent, and I think there's also a lot that you need to discover about this area of life. Not to "win her back", but to enable you, because you don't since you'll begin to sometime soon or maybe a little longer, realize that you don't need her do you? That if she want's to miss out on a great time, that's her loss since there are plenty of other people out there, that with your new learnings can even better, since you know that your happiness isn't dependent on the "rulings" of a girl, but found inside of you know that you can easily and effortlessly move on now, and take the insights from this experience and find in the future, looking back to a few months from now, allowed yourself to really flourish with your next relationships, aren't you?
The most important thing is to not get hung up with it. What's the easiest way to extinguish a fire? Prevent it. The best way to deal with this kind of situation is to know how to avoid it in the first place, and I think you've learned how to do that now, haven't you?
Make good luck!
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