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inquiringmind4u · 10-21-2008, 02:52 AM

Catalyst,

Just a few thoughts that came to mind reading this thread:

First, Vernon Howard (a great man) once hinted at the simplicity of complete and total freedom from any form of emotional hurt. He said:

"One refusal to run the mental movie and it is as if the event never happened."

What this means is that at this point, the hurt lives on because of the life you are lending to it. Your own attention along with its free access to memory is re-building the hurt brand new, over and over and over.

As many times as you are able to do it, just catch the movie and cut the filmstrip in half. Take back your attention and become aware of wherever you are. If you're caught inside the confines of some mental movie about days gone by, what you'll discover is that your attention has been pulled completely away from your present environment.

There is safety only in the present moment.

There's another very important reason why is so critical to do this:

You have had established within you a pattern whereby you define your importance by the behavior of people around you... specifically, the person you are in a relationship with. What you are going through presently is simply the flip-side of all the times you looked at her pleasant behavior towards you and thought to yourself, "I'm so lucky to have a person like this... someone who cares for me.... someone who makes me feel so wonderful."

The two kinds of self-reflections are actually one and the same. They go together and cannot be separated. You can't pick up one without chaining yourself to the other. If you define yourself by the wonderful experiences you share with another person in your life, inherently you are tying yourself to the exact opposite set of experiences if the situation should eventually change.

What this means is that as you sit within the current set of self-tormenting reflections about what seems to have been lost with your past companion, you are actually re-seeding the part of yourself that will first be delighted by the person with whom you find new companionship with; and then eventually devastated (or on the verge of devastation) if anything threatens the new relationship.

You can step outside this double-sided prison by instantaneously canceling all involvement with that self-imagery.

10-21-2008, 02:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
inquiringmind4u Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Grants Pass Posts: 53	Catalyst, Just a few thoughts that came to mind reading this thread: First, Vernon Howard (a great man) once hinted at the simplicity of complete and total freedom from any form of emotional hurt. He said: "One refusal to run the mental movie and it is as if the event never happened." What this means is that at this point, the hurt lives on because of the life you are lending to it. Your own attention along with its free access to memory is re-building the hurt brand new, over and over and over. As many times as you are able to do it, just catch the movie and cut the filmstrip in half. Take back your attention and become aware of wherever you are. If you're caught inside the confines of some mental movie about days gone by, what you'll discover is that your attention has been pulled completely away from your present environment. There is safety only in the present moment. There's another very important reason why is so critical to do this: You have had established within you a pattern whereby you define your importance by the behavior of people around you... specifically, the person you are in a relationship with. What you are going through presently is simply the flip-side of all the times you looked at her pleasant behavior towards you and thought to yourself, "I'm so lucky to have a person like this... someone who cares for me.... someone who makes me feel so wonderful." The two kinds of self-reflections are actually one and the same. They go together and cannot be separated. You can't pick up one without chaining yourself to the other. If you define yourself by the wonderful experiences you share with another person in your life, inherently you are tying yourself to the exact opposite set of experiences if the situation should eventually change. What this means is that as you sit within the current set of self-tormenting reflections about what seems to have been lost with your past companion, you are actually re-seeding the part of yourself that will first be delighted by the person with whom you find new companionship with; and then eventually devastated (or on the verge of devastation) if anything threatens the new relationship. You can step outside this double-sided prison by instantaneously canceling all involvement with that self-imagery. __________________ . I will forever be indebted to Life for this one discovery: http://www.TheOneThingYouWant.com .