[ScotiaCoast]

As far back as grade four, I can remember being a perfectionist in everything school-related. In high school I frequently stayed up all night studying or trying to perfect assignments that I had usually put off until the last minute. Although last minute, I would get a rush of energy and feel motivated to perform well. Usually it was worth it, and my grades reflected my strives for 'perfection'. And then university hit. I still leave assignments until the last minute (in spite of attending more than one procrastination/time management workshop), but instead of feeling an adrenaline rush and push to stay up all night (or any time of day) working on assignments to get good grades, I now just feel drained, apathetic, and can't see the point in putting any effort into attempting to complete the work. For some reason, the mix of procrastination/perfectionism went from working to my advantage (or at least letting me get by alright), to putting me at a complete disadvantage. Whenever I have work to do, in spite of a waning desire to perform well so that I can eventually get into professional programmes, I feel mentally (and sometimes physically) choked and my reserve of motivation seems to have run dry. The pileup of assignments and commitments leave me feeling paralysed, like I can't do anything. Others tell me to just do the work. I tell myself to just do the work, and even though I know I can (I did in my past, so why not now?), I won't. I feel confused, frustrated, and tired of letting other people and myself (or at least the person I used to be) down. I realise this is likely a perfectionism and mindset thing, but I just don't know where to go from here.