C33
Oh My.....can I relate to this!!
I have a very similar story, but it's just 1 friend rather than 2. But the story is the same. However....I went through the whole thing 2 years ago. And this "friend" of mine was such a bad influence on me...by years of talking about it, listening to it etc....my resistance and judgement wore down and I came fairly close to having my own affair before I woke up and said...WHAT THE @#$@(*#$& am I doing???
So...here's what I'm doing now. Maybe this can shed some insight as to what you could do.
I'm on round 3 with this friend. (3rd affair during our friendship) And I completely understand about how they are very close and dear friends. When she started talking about this guy and I said "I'm really sorry, but I just can't do this again. I love you, you're my best friend, but hearing about this isn't good on me spiritually and emotionally. Also, by you "confiding" in me, it takes some of the guilt and burden off of you and I don't want to carry that. I feel bad for your husband and so for me to be a good friend to you.....you'll just have to do this on your own. Let's still be friends, but I would appreciate not hearing ANYTHING about this guy. I hope you understand."
Anyways...that was about 3 months ago. I knew she was still seeing him and our friendship waned a bit. But I at least felt like I had some integrity.
I'm also at the point where I've realized that this friendship isn't in my best interest. I want to be around people that are motivated and uplifting. I want a friend that shares my enthusiasm for self-improvement (not self-degragation!) It's a hard decision. I want to be there for her (she falls apart frequently and counts on me to pick up the pieces) and so I will be....to an extent. But I'm ready to move on and find some new BEST friends. I think she'll be sad when I get a new best friend...but i can't wait!!!!
I'm sorry you're going through this...it will be lonely for awhile, but I think if you "move on" you'll never look back!
annie
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