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catalyst · 10-19-2008, 02:19 AM

Thanks for your reply.

I lost track of the exact date, but it's been several months now. The first three or four months, I was just focusing on surviving and getting through the day. If it wasn't for my immediate family, I don't know where I would be right now.

I've made progress, but as you said, the wound is pretty deep. Hard to imagine unless you've been through something like this. As time goes by, things become more clear to me, and I'm beginning to accept what happened. It took me a long time to admit to myself the facts, because it was so painful.

This event started my journey to really examine who I am, and my purpose in this life. Without her, there is a big gaping hole. I don't want to be a victim, and will not see myself that way. I don't want to be someone who looks back and puts blame on some tragedy for the way his life has turned out. It's just hard sometimes when your emotions are out of control - it's hard to be productive.

I've been reading a lot of self-help books and blogs, which have helped me a lot. I know I need to stop dwelling in the past and searching for answers that are not there. The last few weeks have been hard, as I have been having lots of dreams of her, and I wake up almost feeling as though I had contact with her.

10-19-2008, 02:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
catalyst Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 98	Thanks for your reply. I lost track of the exact date, but it's been several months now. The first three or four months, I was just focusing on surviving and getting through the day. If it wasn't for my immediate family, I don't know where I would be right now. I've made progress, but as you said, the wound is pretty deep. Hard to imagine unless you've been through something like this. As time goes by, things become more clear to me, and I'm beginning to accept what happened. It took me a long time to admit to myself the facts, because it was so painful. This event started my journey to really examine who I am, and my purpose in this life. Without her, there is a big gaping hole. I don't want to be a victim, and will not see myself that way. I don't want to be someone who looks back and puts blame on some tragedy for the way his life has turned out. It's just hard sometimes when your emotions are out of control - it's hard to be productive. I've been reading a lot of self-help books and blogs, which have helped me a lot. I know I need to stop dwelling in the past and searching for answers that are not there. The last few weeks have been hard, as I have been having lots of dreams of her, and I wake up almost feeling as though I had contact with her.